That's Jokes

[Seul]

When the elephant was still cooking…

[Geo]

. . . well they do take a little bit more time . . .

[Guest]

cool joke Geo,,,

[Seul]

@Geo:

. . . well they do take a little bit more time . . .

You try making an omelette with a trunk…

[Guest]

nah Seul,,you need eggs

[Seul]

Oh everyone's a comedian here innit!.. 

[Guest]

well its a joke page ,,so in fer a penny m8

[Guest]

my attempt,,what can run down corridors ,,but cant turn corners,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

a nun with a javelin thru her head

[Guest]

Seul and Geo sitting on a park bench on a blazin hot day,,,a female streaker jogs past,,,Seul has a stroke,,,,,Geo couldnt reach

[Geo]

[bertoni]

[Seul]

It was more of a spank really… She actually yelled 'Try and catch me boys' and what with Geo's lungs quantity being halfed, I didn't think it very appropriate...

[Geo]

i've been a half capacity since i was 4 . . . no worries on my part . . . you're just trying to big yourself up 

[Seul]

That's what she said…

[Geo]

[Guest]

Geo gets captured by the Indians,,,after hours of harsh torture ,the Chief injun approaches,,
do you wish to be free Scotsman.to which Geo replies
too fekkin right..
well says the Injun chief,to gain your freedom you must complete three arduous tasks
Geo thinks fer a while,,,
Fekk it,,ill take yer tasks
task one,the Injun chief says,,,
is you must outdrink my son,,the greatest drinker in our tribe,,no man has beaten him
piece of pish,,Geo replies
second task,,is to go out into the woods and search out the cave of The Great Bear,,where you will fight/kill him and bring back one of his teeth
Nae probs,,Geo replies
third task,is you must make passionate love with the ugliest squaw in my tribe,if you survive all tasks you will be set free
Bring it the fekk on,,says Geo

the next day Geo is brought out,,and is sat down in front of the Injun chiefs son,,next to them both is a cauldron full of the nastiest brew going and two cups
Begin,,shouts Injun chief,,
they both begin swiggin down the foul brew,,cup after cup goes down,,till eventually,,,,the Injun chiefs son keels over ,,,
Geo gets up,,and heads off into the woods,,after about 30mins or so,,there is an almighty roar
task 2 has begun ,,the Injun chief says
  all you can hear are earpeircing screams,,mighty roars,,,shouting,,,swearing,,,,,,,then silence,,,,,,the Injun chief sends one of his tribe to fetch news of 2nd task,,
then at the edge of the woods,,,,,Geo appears,,,clothes shredded,,,ear flapping in the breeze,,,covered in blood/snot and whatever,,,,then at the top of his voice
Geo shouts,,,NOW WHERE IS THAT FEKKIN SQUAW WITH THE BAD TOOTH!!!!!!!!!!!

[Geo]

brilliant 

[Guest]

ya like that one,,,,took me fekkin ages to type 

[Chris]

And here's my contribution:

Seul is sitting in a bar, when Geo comes in, looking glum.

Seul asks, "What's the matter, Geo?"

Geo replies, "Well, yesterday was my birthday, and the crew at work chipped in and got me a sweater."

Seul says, "That sounds nice of them, I like sweaters."

Geo responds, "Yeah, but last year they got me a screamer."

[Giles]

One day Seul, Geo and Nem walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. Seul pushed his beer away in disgust. Nem fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. Geo, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU FECKIN BASTARD!!!!"