Parenting
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@deanclean Being an older parent is great and I always tell people that at 20 I didn’t have the patience, 30 I didn’t have the time, and 40 I didn’t have the energy.
But to tell you the truth, I’ve had my fun, made mistakes and learned from them, and now am able to enjoy kids and life in ways I never could have when I was younger.
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@mclaincausey said in Parenting:
Also be specific with praise, how you like how they did something, versus “good boy/good girl”
I really like this point!
If you say "good boy/girl" when they do something right, they might think that they're a bad person when they don't do something well. Praising the behavior instead of the person disassociates praise from their worth as a person, which hopefully keeps them from becoming people pleasers.
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@Paul9221 also, what i’ll do is when they do something that was better not doing i’ll ask why they did it. Cause maybe in there eyes it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. You give them a chance to explain. Also i can explain my point of view. Also the question: did you understand that? Is a good one. Cause when they’ll do it again you can recall on the agreement you had made before.
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I would encourage all parents to give this one a listen: https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happier-parents-happier-kids-pt-1-your-child-isnt-a-vip-or-a-fragile-vase
Really takes down a lot of the helicopter and lawnmower parenting styles that have emerged over the past several decades.
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@mclaincausey We love her podcast and I will for sure check those out. A book we like was “The Gift of Failure” by Jessica Lahey. Totally along those same lines I’m guessing.
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@mclaincausey same.
I would much prefer not to have a mini me.I think the term at the time for me as a wee one was a combination of "active" and "busy"
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@EdH they're crafty little buggers
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I’ve figured out boy or girl they all cost a fortune
Ours is only in what I call primary school, depending on the time they turn 5 here depends on whether or not they have to sit it out in childcare for another 6 months or can actually go to school unless you go to a private school when the do a mid year let’s make money intake
Jacob was in that group and way way past childcare kindergarten so we enrolled him
One of the best things we did even if it has stretched our expenses somewhat -
Sorry @goosehd i missed your reply to me. I’m still getting used to notifications with the new forum. I agree with you whole heartedly. There are definite advantages of being older. I was too busy thinking about where my next beer and party were going to be in my 20’s and 30’s.
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boy dad here. have a 2.5 year old and one that is just shy of 7. both very active, busy, wild, spontaneous, adventurous, etc.
I'm just tired. always tired.
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@EdH and all other new dads. My mom told me to do this and it really works. When your child hits 4 months old, put them in their crib. The day they turn 4 months. It’s gonna be hard as fuck for the wife because your kid is gonna scream bloody murder. Wait 5 minutes, go in and reassure them that you’re there. DON’T pick them up. Just reach over the crib. Walk out. Come back in 10 minutes. Do the same thing. Then wait 15 more minutes and so on. Until they’re asleep. I’ve told all new parents this and it will teach them that when you put them in their crib, it’s time to sleep. And they won’t be crawling into bed with you when they’re 2-3 years old like a lot of kids do. Cause they won’t shake sleeping with you until they’re 6 or 7. I let my son sleep with us sometimes but only when he’s sick. Hope this helps
Choko -
Oh and it’s 4 months because that’s when kids start forming habits
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That’s pretty much it. That, I believe, is the same as a what they say in the book. I still recommend the book, maybe the library has it? The benefit of the book is that it has a lot of additional info on how to address pacifiers, bed toys and even relapses. You’ll get to those right when you’re feeling good about yourself.
