Random Rants
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i'm curious to know what you guys would do as parents.
my son started kindy this year and not being from a 'perfect family' (where mom and dad are still together) sometimes i feel he might get bullied by the other kids who of course do not know better.
on one hand, you could teach them to be mature about such incidents. but on the other, as a boy, you'd want him to be able to defend himself physically as well. it might seem much for 5yos but such things do tend to happen even in kindy level.
I'm also divorced and my son will start kindergarten this Fall. With that said, your son is likely not going to be the only child in school from a separated family. I, too, worry about bullying but until it happens it's not something I concern myself with too much. I've had extensive talks with my son about how unacceptable it is to hit someone, or to engage in name calling. When my son was punched by his classmate the other day I told him that children are like dogs and that some will bite because they were abused, or just weren't taught proper behavior by their owners. Maybe that's a bad analogy but it was easy for him to understand.
I get your dilemma though. Do you prepare your son for the day when he is bullied and tell him to fight back? Or, do you teach him that non-violence is the better choice and that being a verbal or physical punching bag might be the outcome? I have already looked into martial arts classes for my boy like Tae Kwan Do and Karate. I think these martial arts would serve him well in that they would teach him confidence but also restraint. Teaching your child to fight can be a good thing and a bad thing. It can be good because then your child can stand up for themselves, but it can be bad because then they might think that the solution to every problem is through violence.
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I've taught martial arts to young people in the past, and have had parents express their concerns of "if I give him a hammer, everything will look like a nail".
I try to explain that I can teach him martial arts skills, but how they respond to things begins and ends with their home life.
With that being said, I think martial arts will give them context on how and when to use violence. A child with empathy that causes injury to someone else will learn to be reticent to use violence.
An adult that has never had the shit kicked out of them is prone to act like an asshole.
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An adult that has never had the shit kicked out of them is prone to act like an asshole.
adults that have had the shit kicked out of them also act like assholes
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I hear organized wrestling is a great place to start young children and Judo too when they get a tad older.
Understanding the difference between non-violence and pacifism is a very important distinction.
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I hear organized wrestling is a great place to start young children
How 'bout some organized Sumo rasslin'? Nothing like receiving an atomic wedgie with a fundoshi
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cheers lads!
i think it's neither a worry nor having a reason to believe so. i just want to understand the logic, because being my first child, i wouldn't have much experience, or rather none at all, in reacting to such situations compared to some of you more experienced blokes. i also understand that different upbringings can result in different answers but it's definitely nice to hear the different views.
i suppose with the way he's growing so far, he's very outgoing and gets along well with most kids, that it shouldn't be a problem. i guess the worry on my mind is that, at 5 or 6, they might not understand divorce really well and they might react differently because of their feelings.
anyways, i supposed it's normal nowadays with kids outside marriage/divorced etc, but you know kids these days have a quick mouth and even if it's a normal thing, they probably wouldn't know better. anyways, he's currently living with his mom as well, and i see him whenever i'm back in singapore.
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After a LOOOONG hiatus from shopping, I've grabbed a modest few items for myself over the past month…
With that came a sudden request from Maddy for a purse... from Yves Saint Laurent ???
At least it's dropped from her original request a year ago for a Chanel bag... Maybe if I can get her to wait another year, I could placate her with a nice OGL tote, lol!
*For you fellas that aren't familiar with high-end women's bag, you'll be stunned f you choose to Google them...
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Look on the bright side, she could have wanted a Hermes Birkin….
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After a LOOOONG hiatus from shopping, I've grabbed a modest few items for myself over the past month…
With that came a sudden request from Maddy for a purse... from Yves Saint Laurent ???
At least it's dropped from her original request a year ago for a Chanel bag... Maybe if I can get her to wait another year, I could placate her with a nice OGL tote, lol!
*For you fellas that aren't familiar with high-end women's bag, you'll be stunned f you choose to Google them...
My condolences buddy. Or maaaaybe you can have @tfahey00 run by canal street in NYC… plenty of affordable YSL and Chanel bags there
I jest -
i'm curious to know what you guys would do as parents.
my son started kindy this year and not being from a 'perfect family' (where mom and dad are still together) sometimes i feel he might get bullied by the other kids who of course do not know better.
That makes me think of a comedy strip that was in the local radio a while ago. It was about kids getting bullied in school because their parents where still together and not divorced, like the majority.
My favorite bullying line was: Your father is to ugly to find a younger woman!
My tip as a father of two. Relax and see what's going to happen. No need to panic now for no apparent reason. With divorce rates as high as they are, your boy will most likely be just one of many kids with such a background.
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The train trip from Frankfurt to Darmstadt is supposed to take about 19 minutes.
1 hour later I‘m sitting in a train standing at the ass end of nowhere, far away from the destination I should have arrived 45 min ago with a group of twelvegraders besides me who talk bullshit all the time.
I‘m so pissed right now.
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My favorite bullying line was: Your father is to ugly to find a younger woman!
Ouch. That hits a little too close to home for me…
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Something that just gets me completely wound up is when I hear "have went." If anyone is reading this, it's "have gone."
Thank you.
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i'm curious to know what you guys would do as parents.
my son started kindy this year and not being from a 'perfect family' (where mom and dad are still together) sometimes i feel he might get bullied by the other kids who of course do not know better.
That makes me think of a comedy strip that was in the local radio a while ago. It was about kids getting bullied in school because their parents where still together and not divorced, like the majority.
My favorite bullying line was: Your father is to ugly to find a younger woman!
My tip as a father of two. Relax and see what's going to happen. No need to panic now for no apparent reason. With divorce rates as high as they are, your boy will most likely be just one of many kids with such a background.
@cole has nailed it @louisbosco, and this is exactly my tip as a father of two as well. I'm in your same situation as their mother and I have been separated for 7 1/2 years now.
Don't overthink it. I think that's a common problem with a lot of younger parents today is overthinking things. You're worrying about a problem that doesn't exist yet and IMO will never be a huge issue. The reality is it's a far too common scenario like Cole stated. Just chill
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@gaseousclay good on you for giving a sh1t and seeking out information
check this out for no other reason than its interesting and kind of related to your concerns in a round about way
https://www.thecut.com/2018/03/teaching-our-sons-to-be-good-men.html
