Sakura Haraki - Haraki's Daughter's Cancer Account
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I fight against cancer.
1. The beginning is the breast cancer
2. Joy of successful treatment. and the cancer spreads to the bone
3. Warped mind and Chemo
4. Hospital Admission due to spreading to the bone. Days in hell.
5. The cancer spreads to the brain when I turned 28. Long hospital days started and operation
6. And yet, the fight still goes on
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2. Joy of successful treatment. and the cancer spreads to the bone8 sessions of treatment successfully shrank my cancer pretty small.
But since the location of the tumor was bad, the doctor told me that I had to have a radical mastectomy of my left breast. I was very shocked at that moment. "I lost my left breast …including the nipple" However, all I could do was t accept it.
I decided to have the operation and another reconstruction operation using silicon on another day. So that will be my second operation.
Before that, of course, I hadn’t had any surgery in my life. I knew that I would have an operation in the future. But I had an operation phobia. Every time an operation was scheduled, I would get depressed and my life turned grey with hard crying at night.
Since I was 25, I had operations 4 times, breast twice and brain twice. Every time, it was very unpleasant. I'm still frightened of it.
While I was in the hospital, friends and family came to see me and cheered me up. After the anticancer treatment, my body condition became better. I could see my friends often.
It was about this time that I was able to accept the fact that I was almost bald.
Then operation.
It was over in a blink of time while I was anesthetized. The hard part was after the operation. I couldn't move like normal and pain disturbed my sleep. It was very hard. The reason I hate an operation may come from this experience.The mastectomy was successful. My left breast became quite flat.
When occasion demands, I didn't feel depressed a lot. I felt like "ok…"
After the mastectomy came the reconstruction operation. Silicon was put in my left breast. I remember that when I touched it, it was softer than Iexpected.My body condition became stable at that time. But I was dominated by the terror that I needed to have operation again.
My friend calmed the fear. For the reconstruction operation, I had to enter a different hospital. I thought no one would visit me. But my friend who lived in Osaka came to see me. We chatted until lights out. It was a great moment.
While I was in a hospital those 4 years?, the most pleasant time was with my friend. We could chat at ease in a single room. I could shut out my loneliness.
Then the reconstruction. It was successful and my body condition was good after the operation. I left the hospital and started 5 years of hormone treatment at my regular hospital. They check up my situation to prevent recurrence o the cancer.
My breast cancer was treated for about a year. Treatment for the breast was over.
I recovered from breast cancer. My friends and my family were very pleased. My friends held " Happy recovery party". About 20 of my friends gathered at a restaurant and had a nice time. They gave me presents and heart -warming messages. It touched my heart.I couldn't do anything for about a whole year. So, I went out to many places, like fireworks and amusement parks. My hair didn't grow that much so I wore a wig and enjoyed life as a normal lady. "While I'm enjoying my life like this, 5 years will pass quickly! " I thought from the bottom of my heart.
6 months after finishing treatment. I went to the hospital for a regular checkup, and my doctor told me ”The tumor maker is up. This is...Hmmm....”
My mind went blank. I overcame breast cancer. I had silicon implanted in my left breast.
Now why is the tumor maker reacting?!I took a detailed checkup. The result was awful beyond my expectation. Cancer spread to the sternum. Metastasis of the bone can rarely be treated completely by taking anticancer drugs. In my case, it spread to the sternum so that I couldn't remove the bone by surgery.
It was only 6 months. Just after 6 months from the treatment of my breast cancer. I never imagined that I would have the cancer recur and that it would spread.
I was just about to turn 27.
3. Warped mind and ChemoA new anticancer drug treatment was started to prevent further spread of the cancer that had spread to the bone.
I have taken several types of drugs. The most impressive one was a pill named TS-1. I had to take the pill once in 2 days. The side effects were the worst. I felt nauseous tired all the time.. There's no fine day while taking this pill.
It was too awful to keep taking that pill. I gave up in 3 months. Around this term, my mind conditions went down and down.
Just a short half-year after my people cerebrated my recovery like that, I got a new cancer! I was sorry for them and I felt like "Why can't I have a normal life like them?" "Why can’t I be healthy?"
I would have angry outbursts toward my friend.Some left me. I understood they cared about me and
my disease. "but nobody truly understand my real pain. They cannot understand me. "Thinking like this, I started avoiding my friends.
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Thank you for sharing this. It really puts things in perspective in my own life. A re-affirmation of life, saying LIVE. This is not an easy read, it would be an incredibly tough years for his daughter and family!! Thank you again for sharing this diary. And I hope you pull through!!!!
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Prayers and well wishes… several people close to me experiences. Although I cannot truly understand as one who has your experiences I do understand as I can the struggle and challenge the one who is compassionate and caring and emotionally involved with the issue. Strength and peace to you and yours.
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I fight against cancer.
1. The beginning is the breast cancer
2. Joy of successful treatment. and the cancer spreads to the bone
3. Warped mind and Chemo
4. Hospital Admission due to spreading to the bone. Days in hell.
5. The cancer spreads to the brain when I turned 28. Long hospital days started and operation
6. And yet, the fight still goes on4.Hospitalization for hip bone metastasis. Days in Hell.
Made it about a year since starting the cancer treatment on my hip.
One afternoon, I was lying down on my father’s bed . The second I tried to to stand up, OW! The pain in my right hip was so bad I could not get up.
I called my mom in and after some massaging and taking pain meds, and changing my position, I tried really hard to get up, but I could not.I can not get up.
I even had to eat meals while lying in bed. It was a miserable moment when i had to make my mom change my wet pants. No matter how many times I tried, it was useless. Because of the pain, I could not get up.
On the third day, I was finally able to go to the hospital by ambulance. Because I could not help at all, getting me from the 2nd floor bed to the ambulance was an ordeal.
We got to the hospital and got the test results–
The cancer had spread from the sternum to the right hip a little bit. and it caused a compression fracture.
I entered the hospital for radiation on the metastasis and to rest to heal the broken bone.
That was my first a radiation treatment.
The good news is that the spreading was really just a little bit. But until I treat the spreading cancer completely, I cannot move my body. So we decided to start the radiation as soon as I entered the hospital.
In the morning at 9:00, the radiation started. The therapy is easy and not painful. I go into the big machine for about 5 minutes. The hard part is after the treatment.
Around noon, I felt very sick and vomited hard. I turned on the TV by my side and watched funny TV programs and kept vomiting. In the evening, I calmed down. I felt relieved at night.
But again, I need to have another session the next morning. I got radiation every day from Monday to Friday and took a rest on weekends. Tell the truth, I suffered a lot "How can this be so painful...."
I couldn't get up. So a nurse fed me. When I wanted to go to the toilet, I needed to call a nurse and make them clean my mess. It was so miserable. I suffered diarrhea and constipation alternately. I troubled them so much because I had to call a nurse every 10 minutes.
After 3 weeks of therapy, the metastasized cancer was gone and the fracture was healed. I could walk while doing rehabilitation. "No more radiation therapy!!!!" I rejoiced and clung to my mom in tears.
But…one year later…
At that time, I never imagined I would have another radiation therapy again.The hip cancer disappeared but the breastbone cancer didn't disappear.If so, how long do I need to take these treatments.
While I was taking an anticancer drug and hormone drug, one of my few friends asked me to go to a concert.The concert was called LOVE LIVE, a grope of actors for animation. She asked me to go with her. This concert changed my sense of value.
My friend couldn't make it for various reasons and my father drove me to the venue. I was exited, but without a friend, I was nervous too.
At that time, my hair was OK but I always had to wear a corset to prevent breaking my waist bone again. Can I go to the crowded place like this.... I was worried when I was at the venue. My father cheered me on and took me inside the venue.
The performance was great. I got tired easily in the heated atmosphere and sat down. The performers, called “Muse", were singing and dancing hard and the audience was so exited.
But I checked the Muse through the big screen and moved my hands with the music as much as I could. The night turned quickly to fun from my depressed moments thinking about my disease.
This experience changed my way of thinking. Sure, I had been through chemotherapy and surgery, so, compared to normal people, what I can do may have become limited. But as far as things I like go, I decided to go for it!! No more hesitation!!
At that time, I started having a therapy for cancer of the sternum again. I hadn't taken the anticancer drug but I promised my doctor I would start after the concert. Now it's time for chemo! I'll do it! But, a few days after the concert, my body suddenly changed. This is the last and the heaviest disease stage so far.
5. 28 years old….
After the live, I thought regular treatment would start again. But actually, my headache got me into trouble.
The headache became more and more severe every day. Also I got carsick, pain in my eyes and felt like vomiting so that I couldn't live my dairy life.
I couldn't figure out where this headache came from. So, I tried to ignore the pain for about a month and endure it.
Check up day.
I told my doctor who was in the breast oncology department about this and he said "Please go see a brain surgeon" I remember his face suddenly changed right after my words.
"The cause of the pain comes from my brain itself….? This means.........?"
The result confirmed my worst fears. A doctor in a same hospital did an MRI and we learned the cancer had spread to the brain.
Actually it was not a tumor but dropsy. The dropsy oppressed my brain and caused headache.
"Please enter the hospital now for the brain operation." The operation will be held in a week.
I was upset and couldn't sort out my feelings. But the surgery schedule was full. If I don't have the surgery in he next week, the next chance would be 1.5 months later.
"I need to take the brain operation now...." I have many hard experiences of radiation and chemo. But cutting into my head was new territory for me.
Fear took over and I couldn't say anything for several hours after this sentence.
It took 1.5 months staying at hospital for brain treatment. During the time, I had brain surgery twice. The first one was the main surgery to reduce the swelling. Then the 2nd one was for reconstruction of my scalp.The first one took all day long from morning to night. The second one took about 1.5 hours.After the first operation, I hardly remember anything. I heard that I was in ICU at night.
Next morning when I woke up, I noticed it was hard to breathe. I couldn't move. Where am I? I was freaked out.
I don't remember how long it was. but the brain surgeon came to me and I got back in bed.
About 5 days after that, I couldn't move because of many types of drip injections. I couldn't speak well. All I could say was "aah....uhh...." to my family and friends who came to visit me.
Sometimes I still have trouble speaking.I had four surgeries. It was the hardest after surgery.
The i.v.’s stayed in and I lived only to maintain the brain function.
After one week, I was better. I could live without the i.v.’s and get ready for the coming construction operation. I was so afraid to get an operation which was just for reconstruction because of the trauma of the previous operation. Actually I was afraid of being disabled after the operation more than the operation itself.
While I was in the hospital about a month and a half, my parents visited me day and night, twice a day every day. The hospital is 20 minutes away from my house. They stayed with me to the very end of visiting hours at 8pm. It cheered me up.
Friends who visited me were also my treasure.Some came from outside of Tokyo, just to see me. Some came to see me right after the second operation. After the 1st operation, I couldn't talk and I sounded like "uhh....uhh...". But friends came to visit me to encourage me.My days in the hospital were not so lonely because of them.
Hospital discharge day.
I was staying in a semi-private room. So the bill was over 1,700,000 yen. Including this, the total cost from the beginning was outrageous, I think. I thank my parents for paying this amount naturally. I cannot thank them enough.
The operation was over. But radiation on my brain still goes on. Yes, the same thing that I had for my hip.I didn't have a serious side effect after this radiation treatment. It was a same pattern like for hip bone cancer, I had a treatment from Monday to Friday. Weekends were off. Even though they removed the bad part of my brain, I had to take this treatment for recovery.
After a month and a half, I was able to leave the hospital. Being in my house after a long time was so sweet. My mother cleaned my room for me.
However, I couldn't stay long at my house at that time. I went for a check-up and the doctor said "I'm so sorry to tell you this. But you need to come back to the hospital." I was like "What?? I just came for a blood test. Did the cancer spread quickly?? "
It was because of hypercalcemia. I had too much calcium in my blood and it was not related to the cancers.
However, we cannot leave this as it is. If it goes bad, it hurts my body. It was very unpleasant that I had to be admitted again.
I didn't have any surgery or chemo. But I had a lot of drips and it was painful. My veins are not easy for injections and drips. I couldn't enjoy smart phone games because my right arms was full of drips. It was so sad. Games helped me to kill time during the month and a half after the brain operation.
This admission lasted about 10 days.
After this, I was relieved to be going home.
Once I opened my eyes. I was in a bed in our living room. I doubted my eyes. My bed was movable like for an athlete.
"Why am I sleeping on this?!"
I don't remember well about those days. After the series of chemo, I had a high fever. And the last several weeks and I don't remember anything at all.
I came back to my house somehow...
I felt like something was wrong. I couldn't get up by myself. My mother helped me to get up but my legs were shaky and I couldn't stand up!
While I was in the hospital, my leg muscle became too weak to walk.
I couldn't walk up to my room on the second floor. I can sleep only in the bed in the living room. I couldn't sleep well because I am not used to the bed.
My parents helped me to go to the toilet. At the beginning, I couldn't make it and made a floor dirty. I cried because it was shameful. But my parents cleaned the floor and encouraged me.
All I could do was muscle training for my leg and speech therapy to help me stop mumbling.I was thankful that I could leave the hospital. However this life not being able to move was desperate.
After about a month, my muscle got strong enough for me to stand up and I walked a little bit. I burst out crying for joy to be walking after such a long time of sliding crawling? on the floor. My father bought me a cane and I can stagger along with it.

6. And yet, the fight still goes on
My muscles recovered little by little. But my mental instability continued for a while.
The saddest part was I couldn't see anyone because I couldn't go out.My parents tried to fill the loneliness somehow. But I couldn't erase my loneliness and emptiness. And yet, I still have the cancer of the sternum.
The brain cancer had spread while my other cancer was being quiet. So I'm worrying that the cancer might metastasize to other places.
The cancers gnaw my body and my mind. It never goes away and will keep spreading quietly as long was I live.
However, I got some happy news. I took an upper body CT and brain MRI for the 1st time after the operation. There was no new cancer and no dropsy!
I experienced the redevelops many times. So It was really pleased me.
I kept doing muscle training and stretching. Several months later, I could walk without a cane. These days, I can squat down and stretch out.
After the brain operation, I'm still mumbling. Except for this, I have recovered to what I used to be.
Now I go to the hospital only for check ups. I was able to be reinstated at a funeral hall where I used to work. I cannot work as energetically as before. Just standing is my limit. But people there accepted me back to work. I thank them a lot.
Since turning 25 year old, it's been almost 5 years.
I will be 30 soon.
I cannot say "It was a good opportunity that I got cancers and I could experience various things." I never felt like this.
I lost so many things to cancer. I lost my left breast and some precious friends. My days became stressful due to cancer.
I must have been much happier living like a normal lady, If I hadn't gotten cancer in my late 20s. Sometimes I cannot stop my tears while thinking good memories of my healthy days.
But still.
I am here recovering from disease many times.
This happened because of hospital treatment and the committed support of my family and encouragement from my friends.
Someday, I will have another cancer spread from the sternum.
But I have to fight against it. My treatment is named fight. -
Sakura - you have another friend here. We may never meet, or share a meal, but the next time you need a little extra strength to "fight", always know you have it here. Sharing your story is courageous and brave. It gives me/us the opportunity to share our strength with you.
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Hi there!
I translated your comments and Haraki san showed Sakura san.
She thanks you all!!!!Yesterday she had a blood transfusion. The new chemo worked well. However, it hurts her bone marrow. So, she needed to take that. She was very patient. Your comments cheered her up!!!
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Yes, thanks to Sarina for the long task of translating this so that we can share Sakura's experiences. It is a harrowing account of suffering, especially for such a young woman, but Sakura's strength, bravery and optimism always shines through. I truly admire the appreciation she has of her parents' support and the praise she gives them. I simply cannot imagine having to watch my daughter go through this, so my daily thoughts and wishes for strength and recovery go to Sakura and all her family.
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逆境に直面する方法について多くの意見・あなたの率直さ、ユーモア ・勇気に感心します。 私は決まり文句を節約し、割り当てまたは多分推薦を代わりに与えます。私・伯爵・死にかけている少女という映画を見てください。 私はそれを楽しむと思います。
私はあなたの考えを収集するために後チェックします。
The way you face adversity says a lot about you & I admire your candor, humor & courage. I'll save the clichés and instead give you an assignment or maybe a recommendation. Please watch a movie named, Me & Earl & the Dying Girl. I think you will enjoy it.
I'll check in later to gather what you think.
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sakura became an angel
Thank you ALL -
[emoji72] condolences.
Cheers from the mobile
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I am so sorry for your loss, @Haraki-san. Her story is so powerful, and she was very brave to not only live through it, but want to share it with us.
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All our love to you and your family boss.
Gav, Pam and Tommy
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My sincerest condolences to you and your family, @Haraki-san.[emoji1374]
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Deepest condolences for your family's loss Haraki-San. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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Shacho-san, My deepest condolences to your loss of Sakura-chan, may she rest in peace. Johnny (Obbi Good Label)
