Random Rants
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It’s like the millionaire walking into a Ferrari garage in flip flops shorts and a tshirt and being left unattended and not spoken to even though they could buy any of the cars there ( well not quite if you know how super car sales work ) and the tyre kicker in a suit getting all the attention
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@Brian you do have to be careful kicking tyres in flip flops!
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@Brian I work at BMW service. Or rather, a former BMW service. Regular clients are officials, thieves, hooligans and swindlers. This audience in any clothes behaves like complete freaks. If you knock on his wheel, they’ll drag him to court or take him to the forest to talk)
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I'm creating a performance improvement plan for one of my direct reports because he "talks too much and farts too loud and it's creating a distracting environment".
"The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
-Seneca -
hahahahahahaha
I want to see the "Do not fart out-loud" part of that plan....
"OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011
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@WhiskeySandwich which of his two transgressions is causing the distraction?
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Start chewing your food
No more beer
Reduce consumption of cabbage and cruciferous vegetables by 50% or more
If all else fails, go to the bathroom you absolute savage
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LOL there are several issues going on. The employee has had several complaints - loud and excessively long conversations unrelated to work causing distractions, engaging in blatant and excessive entertainment media on the job (youtube usage), and as a result, just being slow to complete their work....and loud farting. All of which takes away from productivity of the employee and those around. There have been several complaints and several informal warnings and talks. Of course formal documentation has to be corporate-appropriate and PC, etc.... so for the improvement plan portion covering farting, we're going with "When possible, excuse yourself during the execution of bodily functions that may be distracting or considered inappropriate."
"The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
-Seneca -
basically, get to work and try not to be disgusting.
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@WhiskeySandwich said in Random Rants:
When possible, excuse yourself during the execution of bodily functions that may be distracting or considered inappropriate."
Inappropriate is a subjective thing. I'm guessing that in his circle of friends and family, he likely gets a high-five for an exceptionally loud bodily function.....
"OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011
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"inappropriate" IS subjective, yes. All those around him consider it inappropriate and have complained. I'd prefer to be more clear and tell him to leave the room when he does that shit, before he clears the room. I'll surely do this verbally though, and not on the official documentation.
