Random Rants
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I'm creating a performance improvement plan for one of my direct reports because he "talks too much and farts too loud and it's creating a distracting environment".
"The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
-Seneca -
hahahahahahaha
I want to see the "Do not fart out-loud" part of that plan....
"OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011
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@WhiskeySandwich which of his two transgressions is causing the distraction?
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Start chewing your food
No more beer
Reduce consumption of cabbage and cruciferous vegetables by 50% or more
If all else fails, go to the bathroom you absolute savage
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LOL there are several issues going on. The employee has had several complaints - loud and excessively long conversations unrelated to work causing distractions, engaging in blatant and excessive entertainment media on the job (youtube usage), and as a result, just being slow to complete their work....and loud farting. All of which takes away from productivity of the employee and those around. There have been several complaints and several informal warnings and talks. Of course formal documentation has to be corporate-appropriate and PC, etc.... so for the improvement plan portion covering farting, we're going with "When possible, excuse yourself during the execution of bodily functions that may be distracting or considered inappropriate."
"The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
-Seneca -
basically, get to work and try not to be disgusting.
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@WhiskeySandwich said in Random Rants:
When possible, excuse yourself during the execution of bodily functions that may be distracting or considered inappropriate."
Inappropriate is a subjective thing. I'm guessing that in his circle of friends and family, he likely gets a high-five for an exceptionally loud bodily function.....
"OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011
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"inappropriate" IS subjective, yes. All those around him consider it inappropriate and have complained. I'd prefer to be more clear and tell him to leave the room when he does that shit, before he clears the room. I'll surely do this verbally though, and not on the official documentation.
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Its one thing to rip all day into your seat cushion... if you can keep it under control. But to blast for glory....this isn't the place for that.
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@Giles LOL i know i do
but not at work -
@Giles said in Random Rants:
In hindsight, there were so many ways I could have handled it better, that is, make him look like an even more complete cunt, but in the heat of the moment, I failed....
Staring down a yapper without giving him the dignity of a reply thats master class shit there Giles.
Too bad you couldnt put a wesco on his armrest -
My little brother had a melanoma removed from his nose today. They had to take a pretty good chunk to get good margins.
Sucks when it’s family, sucks when he’s younger than you, sucks in general!
Fuck cancer!!
"I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)
