Random Rants
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Picked my boy up from daycare yesterday and found out one of his classmates punched him in the face. The rule at daycare is that when such an incident occurs they don't name the offending child. Kinda pointless since my son will tell me who the child is ???. Overall my son dealt with it maturely, even though it left him feeling bummed out that it happened. I should start calling his daycare The Thunderdome.
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i'm curious to know what you guys would do as parents.
my son started kindy this year and not being from a 'perfect family' (where mom and dad are still together) sometimes i feel he might get bullied by the other kids who of course do not know better.
on one hand, you could teach them to be mature about such incidents. but on the other, as a boy, you'd want him to be able to defend himself physically as well. it might seem much for 5yos but such things do tend to happen even in kindy level.
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Let me understand, do you have reason to believe he is being bullied or is it just a worry?
If the latter then I would chill. Being pre-emptive about something that may not even be a problem will just cause your boy undue worry and stress.
If the former then the first thing to do is to find out how he feels and what’s being said. I believe that what you really want to avoid is no response from your boy. That is to say if the child gets bullied and he just internalises it then that can be a real problem. At the least you want him to be able to talk about it with you because that helps him to process it and work out his own response.
Then think about what kind of kid he is and encourage a response based on that. If he isn’t the kind of kid with a quick, smart mouth there’s no point in encouraging him to deal with it that way. You’re setting him up to feel inadequate.
He should “stand up for himself” but that can be anything from ignoring the bully and walking away (bullies hate it when they don’t get a response), to talking back to the bully and saying stop, or meeting violence with physical resistance. Again depends on the situation and the inclinations of your boy.
Also, wtaf? Is this really an issue anymore? In conservative countries, sure, but Oz is pretty liberal and progressive? The divorce rate in Norway is 50% and it’s entirely normal to have kids before/outside of marriage now.
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i'm curious to know what you guys would do as parents.
my son started kindy this year and not being from a 'perfect family' (where mom and dad are still together) sometimes i feel he might get bullied by the other kids who of course do not know better.
on one hand, you could teach them to be mature about such incidents. but on the other, as a boy, you'd want him to be able to defend himself physically as well. it might seem much for 5yos but such things do tend to happen even in kindy level.
I told my son that if he is hit, return the favor. This was in 3rd grade, 8 or 9 yrs old.Had to go to a '"conference" where I said to teacher, counselor and principal the same thing and if it happened again he would beat the shit out of the other kid and I'd be happy to come back and explain it to them again.
They obviously thought I was a barbarian and found this 'unacceptable' . But that was the end of the problem. -
@Max:
Chiming in to seuls shipping Desaster - here's mine. Finally found the green hoodie in madmondays sale. It made it to Germany without customs, was on the rout to my postbox, never got delivered but instantly returned to the US and has been missing now for two weeks.
looks like that the delivery guy "forgot" (replace it with too lazy, stupid, etc) to notify you and after the 7 days of max storage at the PO waiting for pick up, it got returned to the sender…
sucks
Yes, I think something like that. Not that it didn't happen before, but it sucks that it made it thousands of miles right near my home and then got shipped back and seems now lost. And the guy I called at DHL said he couldn't explain what the Driver did with the package - doesn't seem like he tried to deliver it at all.
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i'm curious to know what you guys would do as parents.
my son started kindy this year and not being from a 'perfect family' (where mom and dad are still together) sometimes i feel he might get bullied by the other kids who of course do not know better.
on one hand, you could teach them to be mature about such incidents. but on the other, as a boy, you'd want him to be able to defend himself physically as well. it might seem much for 5yos but such things do tend to happen even in kindy level.
I'm also divorced and my son will start kindergarten this Fall. With that said, your son is likely not going to be the only child in school from a separated family. I, too, worry about bullying but until it happens it's not something I concern myself with too much. I've had extensive talks with my son about how unacceptable it is to hit someone, or to engage in name calling. When my son was punched by his classmate the other day I told him that children are like dogs and that some will bite because they were abused, or just weren't taught proper behavior by their owners. Maybe that's a bad analogy but it was easy for him to understand.
I get your dilemma though. Do you prepare your son for the day when he is bullied and tell him to fight back? Or, do you teach him that non-violence is the better choice and that being a verbal or physical punching bag might be the outcome? I have already looked into martial arts classes for my boy like Tae Kwan Do and Karate. I think these martial arts would serve him well in that they would teach him confidence but also restraint. Teaching your child to fight can be a good thing and a bad thing. It can be good because then your child can stand up for themselves, but it can be bad because then they might think that the solution to every problem is through violence.
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I've taught martial arts to young people in the past, and have had parents express their concerns of "if I give him a hammer, everything will look like a nail".
I try to explain that I can teach him martial arts skills, but how they respond to things begins and ends with their home life.
With that being said, I think martial arts will give them context on how and when to use violence. A child with empathy that causes injury to someone else will learn to be reticent to use violence.
An adult that has never had the shit kicked out of them is prone to act like an asshole.
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An adult that has never had the shit kicked out of them is prone to act like an asshole.
adults that have had the shit kicked out of them also act like assholes
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I hear organized wrestling is a great place to start young children and Judo too when they get a tad older.
Understanding the difference between non-violence and pacifism is a very important distinction.
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I hear organized wrestling is a great place to start young children
How 'bout some organized Sumo rasslin'? Nothing like receiving an atomic wedgie with a fundoshi
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cheers lads!
i think it's neither a worry nor having a reason to believe so. i just want to understand the logic, because being my first child, i wouldn't have much experience, or rather none at all, in reacting to such situations compared to some of you more experienced blokes. i also understand that different upbringings can result in different answers but it's definitely nice to hear the different views.
i suppose with the way he's growing so far, he's very outgoing and gets along well with most kids, that it shouldn't be a problem. i guess the worry on my mind is that, at 5 or 6, they might not understand divorce really well and they might react differently because of their feelings.
anyways, i supposed it's normal nowadays with kids outside marriage/divorced etc, but you know kids these days have a quick mouth and even if it's a normal thing, they probably wouldn't know better. anyways, he's currently living with his mom as well, and i see him whenever i'm back in singapore.
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After a LOOOONG hiatus from shopping, I've grabbed a modest few items for myself over the past month…
With that came a sudden request from Maddy for a purse... from Yves Saint Laurent ???
At least it's dropped from her original request a year ago for a Chanel bag... Maybe if I can get her to wait another year, I could placate her with a nice OGL tote, lol!
*For you fellas that aren't familiar with high-end women's bag, you'll be stunned f you choose to Google them...
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Look on the bright side, she could have wanted a Hermes Birkin….
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After a LOOOONG hiatus from shopping, I've grabbed a modest few items for myself over the past month…
With that came a sudden request from Maddy for a purse... from Yves Saint Laurent ???
At least it's dropped from her original request a year ago for a Chanel bag... Maybe if I can get her to wait another year, I could placate her with a nice OGL tote, lol!
*For you fellas that aren't familiar with high-end women's bag, you'll be stunned f you choose to Google them...
My condolences buddy. Or maaaaybe you can have @tfahey00 run by canal street in NYC… plenty of affordable YSL and Chanel bags there
I jest -
i'm curious to know what you guys would do as parents.
my son started kindy this year and not being from a 'perfect family' (where mom and dad are still together) sometimes i feel he might get bullied by the other kids who of course do not know better.
That makes me think of a comedy strip that was in the local radio a while ago. It was about kids getting bullied in school because their parents where still together and not divorced, like the majority.
My favorite bullying line was: Your father is to ugly to find a younger woman!
My tip as a father of two. Relax and see what's going to happen. No need to panic now for no apparent reason. With divorce rates as high as they are, your boy will most likely be just one of many kids with such a background.
